Putting ME on Hold

If you have talked to me in the last few months and asked, "What's new?" I've probably answered with something along the lines of "Work is busy." And to be completely honest, that phrase is definitely an understatement. While my boss has been on maternity leave for the last 12 weeks, it has been my job to not only maintain my own job responsibilities, but hers as well, AND we started a whole new program at our school under my guidance. 9-12 hour work days, weekend visits to the office, and being up all hours of the night because I can't get my brain to shut off, have left me exhausted, grumpy, and putting a lot of personal stuff on hold ... including ordering more diabetic supplies.

I had noticed about a week ago that I was just about to use my last Dexcom sensor refill. I made a mental note to call the company and order a new shipment immediately, which usually doesn't take too long since the company is based about 10 miles from where I live. Well the week came and went without me stepping away from work for 2 minutes to make a call to Dexcom, and yesterday, of course, my very last sensor failed after I had been wearing it for about 10 days (3 days longer than recommended).

My heart sank and since it was a Saturday I knew there was nothing I could do until Monday morning.  I obviously wouldn't be able to depend on my Dexcom meter for a few days, something I haven't done since starting to use it over a year and a half ago. For a few seconds I thought might even panic, since I can't remember a time where I wasn't able to reach into my purse, press a button, and see my blood sugar right away. I felt like I was going "old school" with having to only rely on finger pricks.

Well, I didn't panic and I think the reason for that is because I am more confident than ever that my blood sugars are controlled. I hadn't seen any worry-some high blood sugars in weeks, and only 1 "scary" low which I was able to detect without having to even look at my Dexcom. Don't get me wrong, I am so anxious to get the sensor refills, but I'm so much more at peace with not wearing it than I ever imagined I might be.

I am left feeling really very guilty though. My inner dialogue chastised myself with, "I told you so's" and "Why didn't you just order the refills last week?!" This was no one's fault but my own. I feel bad that I have let my work life get in the way of taking care of what really matters, my health (and if you ask my husband, some of our personal life too. :-( Sorry sweetie ...). Thank goodness with the support of the Dexcom and OmniPod pump my blood sugars have been in great control, despite my recent work schedule, BUT juggling it all isn't and hasn't been easy.

My boss comes back to work tomorrow ... and now it's time to get back to what really matters: ME!