Bragging ... just a little

I'll make this short and sweet, but I've reached my proudest accomplishment yet in terms of my diabetes management:

a 6.1% a1c test

This test measures average blood glucose control over a 3 month period and 6.1% is my lowest ever! Not only am I feeling great about it, but also extremely proud that this took into account blood sugars from October, November, and December when holidays and sugary foods were more than abundant and blood sugar control tends to be a little less than stellar, to say the least.

If I could tell my 14 year old self (with an a1c test of 13% by the way) that this was possible, I would gladly travel back in time to do so. There is no greater feeling of personal accomplishment than this. Just ask my doctor, he said I'm one of his very best patients. I just can't lie, once the class pet, always the class pet :-) And boy does it feel good!

What's your excuse?

It must be the start of a New Year, because all of a sudden I've had a renewed outlook on probably the number one thing most of us promise to do each year ... get in shape. Over the last year I had up and down waves of energy to stick with, and then not stick with, an exercise plan. I did have some medical issues that prevented me from being the active person I wanted to be, but nonetheless, all excuses aside, here I am, 24 days into January sticking with my restored sense of amping up my activity level.

So here's a little glimpse into a "normal" workout routine for me:

1. Talk myself into exercising when I get home from work (think about it for 30 minutes during my drive home from work) ... You can do this!
2. Have a scoop of peanut butter when I get home (protein will be good for my exercise, right?!)
3. I've renewed my "can do" mentality, so let's get excited and put on my new workout clothes that are so cute and comfortable!
4. Check my blood sugar ... We're good at 120.
5. Climb aboard the elliptical machine and make sure I have all of the items I need: water (check!), Dexcom glucose monitor (check), cell phone (check), and sugar pills (check!)
6. Start pedaling ... keep going ... it's only been 5 minutes? ... You can make it to 45 today! ... Okay, at least make it to 20 minutes ... Okay Danielle, If you're stopping at 20 minutes, you'll have to do extra an extra leg workout!
7. SERIOUSLY?! It's only been 10 minutes??? .... And now my Dexcom is beeping, what does it want now?
8. Climb off the elliptical, check my blood sugar. It's at 95 but already falling fast. Climb back on the machine to get going again, but make sure to keep a close eye on the blood sugars.
9. 15 minutes later, Dex is beeping at me again. At least I've been pedaling for almost 30 minutes but let's check the blood sugar again: 60. 
10. Pour myself a glass of juice (sugar pills are too chalky!) and wait 10 minutes to stop feeling the effects of a low blood sugar: clammy, disoriented, and weak.
11. Alright, where was I? Oh yes, today is a leg workout! Lunges here we go .... 
12. After a few sets of something, I'm still a little wobbly from the low blood sugar and also getting nervous that I am home alone and should something happen because my blood sugar got too low, I'd be all alone ... now I'm getting a little panicky.
13. I'll text my husband to let him know I'm exercising ... if he doesn't hear from me in 20 minutes, he should call to make sure I'm still conscious :-)
14. Back to the lunges! 5 ... 4 .... 3 .... 2 .... 1... DONE!
15. Blood sugar check: 85 and holding. Ta Da!!

To be honest, I have a lot of the same conversations that I think several people have with themselves when it comes to actually talking myself into exercising in the first place, because I'll be honest with the fact that I would much rather enjoy a glass (or 3) of red wine and the couch in my sweat pants when I got home from work. Besides, my job keeps me active enough ... right!? There are a million reasons to talk myself out of exercising, and worrying about low blood sugars is just one more to add to that pile of excuses.

For a long time I would use the excuse that I couldn't exercise for fear of low blood sugars, because low blood sugars really are scary! Additionally, it's a fact that medically it's not recommended to work out with high blood sugars either. So the key is to start an exercise routine at just the right blood sugar (for me that's between 120 and 140) which is a feat that begins 2-4 hours before exercising can even happen. Next I have to keep a close eye on my blood sugars during my workout routine (which is SO annoying and hard not to use as another excuse not to exercise) and make sure I have sugar pills handy just in case. 9 times out of 10, I have to stop and correct a low blood sugar. That's just a reality.

I may not be able to last a full hour and participating in an entire and intense class at a gym seems impossible. But then again, I used to think that establishing a consistent routine in the first place would be impossible. I'm really looking forward to continuing to stay on an exercise regiment, and I am especially loving how I am feeling by the way (only 5 more pounds to go until I reach my wedding weight, woo hoo).

Moving Forward

In my experience, there are a lot of negative stereotypes related to Type 1 Diabetes, including the biggest of them all: the potential negative affects to one's health. From the first day I was diagnosed, doctor's have used the same scary speech about proper blood sugar care in order to avoid potential health problems in the future, ranging from eye complications (glaucoma and cataracts) to foot complications (nerve damage and amputation) to heart disease and high blood pressure, just to name a few. The list of POTENTIAL complications is long, scary, and overwhelming yet completely avoidable with proper care.

And while my care routine is stellar and my blood sugar control is that of an "A+ student," according to my doctors (Go me!), when additional medical problems do arise in my life it's hard not to ask the question, "Is this related to diabetes?" And while my team of doctor's swear up and down and side to side that what is happening has nothing to do with diabetes, I still can't help but replay the last few weeks of blood sugars in my mind. Was it the high blood sugar I had in the middle of the night? Did that unexpected low cause this? All questions I have posed with the response of "Not at all!" from my doctors.

So while I appreciate the reassuring comments that my diabetes control and management is not a factor, and I feel like I should be proud of that fact, it leads to even more disappointment, frustration, and questions. 14 years ago I was handed a diagnosis that changed my life forever, in every way possible. I grappled with feelings of not being normal, asking "why me?", and feeling like my body's normal functions had failed me. And yet again, these feelings have overwhelmed me and taken over my brain and my conversations this week.

Just like the reason I got diabetes in the first place, I may never know what caused this. But thanks to my supportive and positive team of doctors (and of course the family and friend support around me), we're moving forward to find treatment. I've overcome a lot of hurdles with diabetes and found a way to make it work successfully. My brain is already wired to succeed and be strong, so I am hoping to use that to move forward with this. Just like diabetes there will be days of anger and sadness, but in the end I am hoping that the result of this journey will bring joy, happiness, and hope to many.